your love is not enough

 Who are you to judge my love is not enough?

I cried for help. I gave you a means to help me. Did you try to see how I can be helped?
Did you really understand what I have?

Who are you to judge I did not love enough when you fled the moment you had the chance? 

One moment you say you will wait for me and just in a fleeting moment, you were gone. 

I was there walking to the mall alone. Getting things to comfort my knees. I was there alone hurting and fending for myself. 

I was there begging you to talk to me for the good 3 years and you just shoved those pieces and shoved those pieces of me with me you. I was there suffering and you did not even pause for the good 3 years. 

Maybe it was too late for me to realize what I could do to save us. Maybe I was just too scared to stand up and make you wait. You were gone for a while when I did set you free. No more concessions with the time with me. Always, highlighting what I lacked rather than helping me get through.  It was a good few months.  I said maybe next year is a good time. But you decided there was no solution long before I freed you. It was scary and overwhelming that you were long gone. How could I ask you back when I know your dream is at the door? I asked to fix myself and I know I am unfit. How can I have to courage to ask you back when somebody is there and I felt the urgency to move on on your end? 

Do not undermine my love because it is this love that blesses your happiness now while pounding on my heart for weeks on end now. It is deeper than you know.